Just Being There

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Being a single parent when your children are with their other parent can be rough sometimes.  Yesterday at church I was getting all the hugs I could to carry me, since I won’t probably get another one until I pick up Miss M from school Wednesday afternoon.  You know from my earlier post that you need at least 4 a day, if not more.  Why do you think that is?

Could it be that as we are a social being, that not getting those connections with people hurts us emotionally?  We know that everything is connected, and what affects one system in the body will eventually affect every other system.  (When you’re sick, I bet you feel like litter box droppings…I know I do!)  So it would stand to reason that we need to care about our emotional state as much as we do our physical body.

So when you’re not able to physically get that connection, what’s the next best thing?  There are numerous ways to “virtually” connect with people.  Phone calls are one way…calling up family or friends is a big help.

Last night I was talking to my cousin who is like a sister to me while my football team (New England Patriots) was playing.  She turned it on too, and we ended up watching the last 2 nail-biting minutes together.  Today I will connect with one woman from church on the phone for a little bit.

There are numerous Facebook groups as well, for whatever makes you happy.  Many of my Facebook friends I’ve never met, but I feel a deep connection to.  It’s nice to know whatever you’re feeling, someone somewhere will be around.

always

Hobbies: Just For Kids?

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What did you like to do when you were young?  What hobbies did you have, or wanted to get into?  Are any of them feasible for you to start up the practice of today?  Look around…online if you need to…to find where you can practice them with other people.  Common interests are a great way to make friends.

When I was very young, I took ballet and tap dancing.  Unfortunately, my class was only Saturday mornings….and since that was the only time cartoons were on…I didn’t want to take lessons.  (Yes, now you know I’m – gasp – almost middle-aged.  I got a late start having kids.)

I graduated to trying ice skating (my ankles were too weak), then found music lessons, and band.  I became a HUGE band geek in high school.  Whatever band there was, I was in.  I still loved dance though.  I got involved in the musicals in high school as well, and that was my first introduction to jazz/ theater dance.

Fast forward to college.  One of the things I got involved in (and it helped me with my imbalances I’d not fully resolved from the accident that changed my life in my junior year of high school) was theater dance.  We did both jazz and tap, and my instructor was really great.  She had been the youngest woman to have ever been a Rockette.

Each semester she would devote one class to ballroom dancing and it. was. a. BLAST.  I had wanted to get into it more, but in the late ’80s in NH the places you could take it were few and far between.  At one point I even tried out to be an Arthur Murray instructor, but since my coordination was still an issue, that wasn’t an option.

While I was with my girl’s father though, we did get into it…he wanted to show off at his company party initially.  I liked the connection we had from it, but it was so. much. FUN!  I really DID feel alive, as the quote above mentions.  When the marriage was falling apart, we stopped of course.  (I wasn’t going to put myself out there emotionally if he was done trying, as he’d told me he was.)

I finally started back in this past spring on my own doing it again.  So many of the instructors at the Arthur Murray studio we went to before have moved on, but 2 of them were still there.  Quite a few friends I had made there before are still going though, and it’s been great to reconnect with them.

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This was back in August, at an all day dance competition.  When my instructor came out of the dressing room with his shirt that way, another instructor teased him that she didn’t know his décolletage would exceed theirs!  I wore this dress to dance the rumba in….I even (surprisingly) placed among females at my level that danced the same time I did!  (There were a good dozen total couples on the floor at the time.)

So don’t give up on hobbies!  You’ll be so glad you didn’t.  What hobbies did you have as I child that you’ve kept up now that your an adult?  Or what did you wish you had kept up with?  Let me know!